Do you vacuum your coffee machine? (And other questions)

Do you vacuum your coffee machine? (And other questions)

Well hello… as I’ll be posting this in the first quarter of the year, I feel I can still refer to myself as a blogger. An ‘occasional, whenever I can be bothered’ blogger but a writer of digital words nonetheless.

But as you know, I’m also an educator and that requires asking many questions and answering them in an appropriate way, regardless of how ridiculous they might seem.

I went on a 10 mile walk the other weekend. There were a lot of snowdrops!

As you lovely readers know (at least those who’ve stuck by me for several years now), I do enjoy the odd random ramble too and this post is such.

Because, in a year of becoming very acquainted with the daily banality of life, I realised my mundane existence might be a little less weird than yours, or vice versa.

To be fair, I’m banking on the vice versa, especially when I pose the question:

DO YOU VACUUM YOUR COFFEE MACHINE?

I do. I’ve done it for many years but it was only recently as I was suctioning up the stale pile of ground beans, that were trying to adhere to the inner workings like limpets against the incoming tide, that I thought it might be quite an odd life choice.

I mean, to me, it makes perfect sense as wiping with a cloth just seems to spread the crumbly blighters everywhere and vacuums are made for getting into crevices with their delightful arrangement of attachments.

But perhaps you’ll think it strange. Or you don’t own a coffee machine. But would you, if you did?

Whilst I’m on the subject of cleaning kitchen equipment, let’s talk blenders.

HOW DO YOU CLEAN A BLENDER?

I read this on Twitter, only last week and I don’t know why it’s never occurred to me before now. Blenders deal with liquid, sometimes hot liquids. So why not ‘blend’ some soapy water and voilà… clean machine.

No longer will I faff around with getting congealed soups and smoothies off the blades. Absolute game changer! Of course, you all probably thought of this years ago but I’m often late to aspects of this adulting lark.

DO YOU ACT OUT FILMS AND TV SHOWS?

I don’t mean re-enacting them as a weekend hobby or reciting classic lines as part of your conversations. What I mean (and I do) is mouthing the words and pulling the facial expressions of the actors I’m watching.

I’m not sure when it started. For some reason, I began focusing on how actors were conveying certain emotions and it morphed from there. I sometimes catch myself, suddenly aware I’ve contorted my face into an exaggerated parody of what’s on screen. I must look quite bizarre, miming to the dialogue. It’s a good job Sam’s used to me!

It’s like I’m viewing via a dodgy satellite link too, as naturally I have to hear and see the line / scene first before replaying it in my head to ‘act it out’. So there’s a short delay by which time the action has moved on and I’ve generally missed a key plot point!

WHY CAN’T PEOPLE GIVE WAY?

This is more of a moan and general observation but it covers both vehicles and pedestrians.

As a passenger, I’ve often noticed that when the oncoming vehicle should be giving way, but isn’t about to, instead of slowing down and just grumbling about the lack of courtesy on the roads, my driver* will speed up in an attempt to… what?

Narrow the gap and make it impassable so the other person has to reverse? Stare menacingly through the window and make them think twice about doing it again? It’s pointless and just makes me slam on imaginary breaks and get twitchy.

I will admit that I’m a bad passenger. (*Also, I don’t have a chauffeur, I just meant whoever was driving the car I’m in!).

However, what I scold others for in four-wheeled transportation, I’m very guilty of doing myself on foot.

In the era of social distancing, we have been very mindful of walking single-file or waiting for others to pass, when out and about. In most cases, it’s reciprocated.

But if it’s clear that those coming towards us have no intention of giving up their wide spread across the path, then I stand my ground. Sometimes, I even adopt a ‘bring it on’ stance.

I’m sure I look utterly ridiculous and it’s not helped by the tutting and slightly too loud exclamations of, “Enough room have you? Hmmm?”

They’re probably very bemused about why this short, angry looking lady has decided to suddenly stop as they move on with their day. If I was of a certain age or mobility, I can imagine I’d be shaking my walking stick at them in a comedy manner!

DO YOU LOSE ALL SENSE OF DIRECTION AND DEXTERITY IN A MASK?

I’m all for wearing masks. I decided we should be wearing them before the guidance deemed it necessary. But despite having had a year of practice, I still find it very difficult carrying out many tasks in them.

And if my hair gets involved, I’m wearing a heavy coat or a scarf, well…there’s no chance.

We’ve all heard of the problems that spectacle wearers face when donning a mask: the fogged up lenses and the over or under the rim dilemma.

But does anyone else seem to lose all peripheral vision, blunder around clumsily and move their arms like they’ve been laid on them for a week?

That’s me.

If I was being completely honest, there are some days when I flail though life in this way, regardless of any extra face adornments. But masks definitely exacerbate the situation.

CAN YOU SAY ‘ECUADOR’ WITHOUT BREAKING INTO SONG?

The answer to this is probably ‘yes’ if a) you are a semi-functioning adult and/or b) you have never heard of said song.

The late 90s Latin-inspired dance anthem has no other lyrics that I can understand or recite (being in Spanish) but the name of the country is the hook. And whilst Ecuador doesn’t come up frequently in conversation, I’m incapable of saying it without a sad attempt at Spanish inflection or adding the boppy lititle beat after it.

Other notable locations that sometimes cause similar issues (for me, off the top of my head) are Barcelona, West Virginia and Rotterdam. I’m sure there are others…

Do suffer from the same life dilemmas as me? Have you any responses to my musings or further questions to my questions? If so, or you just want to point out how daft I am, please supply your answers on a postcard, the back of a stuck-down envelope or preferably, the comments section!

Toodles! X


IMAGE CREDITS: Mine or free image library.

8 thoughts on “Do you vacuum your coffee machine? (And other questions)

  1. It’s lovely to hear from you, Haylee!

    So, I just watched the music video of “Ecua-DOR!” I must say, that’s the first time I’ve been tempted to visit the place, but I’ll see your “Ecua-DOR!” and raise you an “Ohhhhhhk-lahoma!” Besides that one, there are a few that make me sing — West Virginia (as you say), Chicago, Chula Vista (local radio contest niche hit back in the ’70’s — you do NOT want to hear it), River City, San Francisco, Santa Fe, New York, New York, and Argentina are among them.

    Sometimes the only way to clean appliances is with a vacuum cleaner — which beats the other practical-though-disgusting-and-possibly-hazardous option of sucking up grit through a straw.

    As for giving way — I’ve found it to be more a problem on foot than in a car. Seeing as how we in America drive on the RIGHT side of the road (take that any way you choose), it’s logical to me that pedestrians should move to the right in the event of oncoming walkers. But nooooo. It seems almost everyone else in my neighborhood comes from Great Britain or New Zealand or Pakistan.

    I’m sure we each have quirks that are peculiarly our own, but it is a comfort to know that in most of them, we are not alone, lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Sue! Well, I naturally had to look up Chula Vista and you were right. I did NOT need to hear that 😂 But it did remind me of a local college’s ad campaign which basically repeated the name of the college, just with different inflections. We can’t hear the name (which is also a local village) without singing!
      I’ve absolutely never had the urge to suck up grit through a straw but I do agree that pavements (sorry sidewalks!) and car parks should follow the rules of the road, according to the country you’re in.
      Clearly our collection of quirks are the sensible option and everyone else is wrong!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. If you can mouth the words to films (how does one know whether to pronounce that MOWTHE or MOUTH), and do the facial expressions, I’m sure that, regardless of age, you could wave an imaginary walking stick in the air, and even swing it wildly to take the legs from underneath the offender in your way. (imaginarily of course)

    So, I’ve managed to write an extended sentence, with far too many commas in it, and make up a word, imaginarily! Google says get lost – I thought of that word long before you did. Who knew that imaginarily was a real word, just like antiflagelisticarsinominatedly.

    Good to see you again Haylee, as I’ve said elsewhere.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello (again) Peter! I love the word imaginarily (and imaginarium for that matter). Made-up words or real, fake sounding words are brilliant, Dahl made a career out of them! I’m not sure I can even pronounce the last one though – I’ll pop down to see the nursery teachers, see if they can break up the phonics and help me!!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hello stranger 🙂 Don’t even get me started on the give way thing. The older my husband gets the worse he’s becoming at putting our beloved car at extreme risk by sheer pig headedness of “I’m sick of people not giving way” so I just close my eyes and hope for the best. Yes I do the Ecuador thing. I had to Google who that was. I have the CD from many years ago but I couldn’t be bothered looking for it, Google is much quicker – Sash. Our council offices are based in a building called Riverside. That’s another name that I state – Riverside! rather than just say which you’ll know what I mean if you know the song, minus the rude bit on the end I hasten to add 🙄

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s a genuine treat when you appear in my reader. I do the soapy water blender thing. Don’t own a coffee machine (I own many ways to make coffee but not a proper machine) but I would vacuum it. And I’m relatively on the same page on more of the other dilemmas than I care to admit.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Haha, thanks James! And it’s a genuine comfort to know there are others out there as weird/daft/quirky/utterly brilliant but misunderstood(delete as appropriate) as me!

      Like

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