Well hello… as I’ll be posting this in the first quarter of the year, I feel I can still refer to myself as a blogger. An ‘occasional, whenever I can be bothered’ blogger but a writer of digital words nonetheless.
But as you know, I’m also an educator and that requires asking many questions and answering them in an appropriate way, regardless of how ridiculous they might seem.
As you lovely readers know (at least those who’ve stuck by me for several years now), I do enjoy the odd random ramble too and this post is such.
Because, in a year of becoming very acquainted with the daily banality of life, I realised my mundane existence might be a little less weird than yours, or vice versa.
To be fair, I’m banking on the vice versa, especially when I pose the question:
DO YOU VACUUM YOUR COFFEE MACHINE?
I do. I’ve done it for many years but it was only recently as I was suctioning up the stale pile of ground beans, that were trying to adhere to the inner workings like limpets against the incoming tide, that I thought it might be quite an odd life choice.
I mean, to me, it makes perfect sense as wiping with a cloth just seems to spread the crumbly blighters everywhere and vacuums are made for getting into crevices with their delightful arrangement of attachments.
But perhaps you’ll think it strange. Or you don’t own a coffee machine. But would you, if you did?
Whilst I’m on the subject of cleaning kitchen equipment, let’s talk blenders.
HOW DO YOU CLEAN A BLENDER?
I read this on Twitter, only last week and I don’t know why it’s never occurred to me before now. Blenders deal with liquid, sometimes hot liquids. So why not ‘blend’ some soapy water and voilà… clean machine.
No longer will I faff around with getting congealed soups and smoothies off the blades. Absolute game changer! Of course, you all probably thought of this years ago but I’m often late to aspects of this adulting lark.
DO YOU ACT OUT FILMS AND TV SHOWS?
I don’t mean re-enacting them as a weekend hobby or reciting classic lines as part of your conversations. What I mean (and I do) is mouthing the words and pulling the facial expressions of the actors I’m watching.
I’m not sure when it started. For some reason, I began focusing on how actors were conveying certain emotions and it morphed from there. I sometimes catch myself, suddenly aware I’ve contorted my face into an exaggerated parody of what’s on screen. I must look quite bizarre, miming to the dialogue. It’s a good job Sam’s used to me!
It’s like I’m viewing via a dodgy satellite link too, as naturally I have to hear and see the line / scene first before replaying it in my head to ‘act it out’. So there’s a short delay by which time the action has moved on and I’ve generally missed a key plot point!
WHY CAN’T PEOPLE GIVE WAY?
This is more of a moan and general observation but it covers both vehicles and pedestrians.
As a passenger, I’ve often noticed that when the oncoming vehicle should be giving way, but isn’t about to, instead of slowing down and just grumbling about the lack of courtesy on the roads, my driver* will speed up in an attempt to… what?
Narrow the gap and make it impassable so the other person has to reverse? Stare menacingly through the window and make them think twice about doing it again? It’s pointless and just makes me slam on imaginary breaks and get twitchy.
I will admit that I’m a bad passenger. (*Also, I don’t have a chauffeur, I just meant whoever was driving the car I’m in!).
However, what I scold others for in four-wheeled transportation, I’m very guilty of doing myself on foot.
In the era of social distancing, we have been very mindful of walking single-file or waiting for others to pass, when out and about. In most cases, it’s reciprocated.
But if it’s clear that those coming towards us have no intention of giving up their wide spread across the path, then I stand my ground. Sometimes, I even adopt a ‘bring it on’ stance.
I’m sure I look utterly ridiculous and it’s not helped by the tutting and slightly too loud exclamations of, “Enough room have you? Hmmm?”
They’re probably very bemused about why this short, angry looking lady has decided to suddenly stop as they move on with their day. If I was of a certain age or mobility, I can imagine I’d be shaking my walking stick at them in a comedy manner!
DO YOU LOSE ALL SENSE OF DIRECTION AND DEXTERITY IN A MASK?
I’m all for wearing masks. I decided we should be wearing them before the guidance deemed it necessary. But despite having had a year of practice, I still find it very difficult carrying out many tasks in them.
And if my hair gets involved, I’m wearing a heavy coat or a scarf, well…there’s no chance.
We’ve all heard of the problems that spectacle wearers face when donning a mask: the fogged up lenses and the over or under the rim dilemma.
But does anyone else seem to lose all peripheral vision, blunder around clumsily and move their arms like they’ve been laid on them for a week?
If I was being completely honest, there are some days when I flail though life in this way, regardless of any extra face adornments. But masks definitely exacerbate the situation.
CAN YOU SAY ‘ECUADOR’ WITHOUT BREAKING INTO SONG?
The answer to this is probably ‘yes’ if a) you are a semi-functioning adult and/or b) you have never heard of said song.
The late 90s Latin-inspired dance anthem has no other lyrics that I can understand or recite (being in Spanish) but the name of the country is the hook. And whilst Ecuador doesn’t come up frequently in conversation, I’m incapable of saying it without a sad attempt at Spanish inflection or adding the boppy lititle beat after it.
Other notable locations that sometimes cause similar issues (for me, off the top of my head) are Barcelona, West Virginia and Rotterdam. I’m sure there are others…
Do suffer from the same life dilemmas as me? Have you any responses to my musings or further questions to my questions? If so, or you just want to point out how daft I am, please supply your answers on a postcard, the back of a stuck-down envelope or preferably, the comments section!
IMAGE CREDITS: Mine or free image library.