“Nobody loves me, everybody hates me. I think I’m gonna eat worms…“
Lyrics from a song I enjoyed singing as a child, especially the part when you make the slurping noise and suck their juices out!
Of course, I wouldn’t really want to eat worms but you’d be forgiven for thinking the opposite if you were to look in my fridge. You see, for those of you who don’t follow me on Instagram, this is my reality now: housing worms next to the mayonnaise, chasing locusts and telling people that cockroaches aren’t really that bad.
Why? Because I am now the Mother of Dragon. A bearded one!
We’ve had Jorah (yes, I named him after a Game of Thrones character – it makes sense if you’re up to date with the show) for just over two weeks now. At around 4 months old and 11 inches long, he is only half the size he will be as an adult.
It’s years since I’ve owned a pet (mainly cats, one dog) but due to Sam’s allergies, no more furry friends can live with us. So, after months of research, I decided on a reptile.
Bearded dragons are notoriously lazy, docile, mild mannered and like being handled. So they make an ideal starter reptile for the uninitiated. However, that isn’t to say they’re easy to look after – just easier than others of their kind.
You have to have the correct lighting, heat, humidity…and don’t get me started on substrate (the stuff you put on the floor of the vivarium). Everyone contradicts everyone else!
Then there’s the live feeders: not that I want to body shame them but crickets are stinky, horrible creatures, whereas locusts have pretty stripey legs and are much nicer to look at. Still, they make me squeal when they snap jump like a coiled spring!
And I’ve become obsessed with poop! Consistency, colour, frequency – I’m in danger of becoming an over-protective mum…
And a fussy mother at that: Jorah has his own Instagram page, where I can chart his growth. And make up stupid references to Game of Thrones 😉
In five days, he already has more than half the followers I do. Not that I’m jealous or anything. He even got a follow from an Insta-famous celebrity feline. Seems she’s quite something in the cat world, modelling stylish claw caps…
One of the things I’ve found I like about dragons is how intelligent they are. He has sectioned his vivarium into a bedroom area and bathroom (he’s potty-trained himself!), eats from my hand, recognises the sound of my voice and half an hour before lights out, like clock-work, he takes himself off to bed.
Oh, and he likes to watch TV…
And go for walks…
If you’d like to follow Jorah’s progress, you can find him on Instagram @jorah_thegreyscaled1
Who says a lizard can’t be cute?
Do any of you own exotic pets? I’d love to hear about them in the comments, even if it’s a flamboyant pug!
IMAGE CREDITS: All my own, so please be sweet and ask before sharing!