Flash (flood) Fiction

Flash (flood) Fiction

monsoon-arizona

Clouds rumbled overhead, heralding the arrival of rain. The first drops met the ground sporadically, evaporating on the scorched earth, yet soon began to fall with more urgency, each grounded drip attracted to another like a magnet. They quickly joined forces, grouping to form rivulets, as they forged an unrelenting path through the desert sand.

Spurred on by the legions of droplets rushing to join from above, the liquid fingers spread outwards, searching for cracks to explore. Downwards they groped, caressing the untouched rock, probing further. Once the route had been scouted, ahead of the torrent, the eager surge asserted control, breaking through into…

Emptiness.

For a moment, the fluid was once again suspended in air, free-falling and cascading, finally grounded for a second time, pooling wide and deep. The resulting splash echoed across the cavern until it ebbed into silence, save for a rhythmic drip that became less frequent as the minutes passed. Above, the deluge had abated and moved on, unaware of the repercussions it had triggered beneath.

A returning stillness, that had enveloped this underground hollow for years, was short-lived: ghostly vapours spiralled upwards from heated waters, as a ripple took form on the virgin lake. Multiple followed, faster, until the entire surface vibrated like a silent drum-roll with the promise of what was to come. A sudden, sharp intake of breath was the cymbal breaking both waters and an expectant hush.

Tilting its head upwards, a smile spread across a serene face and ancient senses drank in the surroundings, unhindered by eyes that remained closed. It rose further, allowing wings to unfurl and shake themselves free of moisture, whilst all around, others continued the same routine until almost thirty creatures stood waist deep in the freshly formed pool.

The first to emerge snapped open liquid amber eyes and in a single movement, the whole collective flew upwards towards the light, circling to escape.

The Lacunae were reborn…


I wrote this with the intention of it being a prologue for a science-fiction tale that I’ve been dabbling around with for a little while. There’s more, mainly back story introducing the MCs so far, but I thought I’d throw this out there and see what you thought. I’d love your feedback, good or bad! And of course, thanks for reading!

Credits: All words copyright of Aloada Bobbins. Image from dailykos.com.

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19 thoughts on “Flash (flood) Fiction

  1. Very interesting. Compelling descriptions. Good prose. Nice staging, building energy towards reveal. Consider the effect of focusing on just that one creature. Create that moment of rebirth. Make it seem like only 1 powerful beast is back. Sell its uniqueness. Then reveal the 30 after 1st takes flight. This way we are shocked not only that 1 dragon exists, but a whole fleet. Milk that suspense even more. That said, I like the impact this passage ends with. It’s definitely encouraging us to want to know more. Impressive language. Keep at the craft! This is enticing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for the detailed feedback! I agree that I need more weight to the creature reveal, as at the moment it focuses heavily on the downpour. However, it’s important that they all take flight together – more of a hint that they have a Borg/hive mentality that will become important later on.
      Glad it entices you enough to read more though! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, it’s very interesting. I suppose what I meant was milk that moment, so we are so amazed by one dragon. When you reveal a whole bunch of them it’d be even more amazing. Also, I like how you foreshadow this is the leader (?). Keep developing this idea. Your style is really intriguing. Great descriptions!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Don’t apologise, I wanted feedback and it’s good to have a neutral view on it – it’s all helpful, thank you! (Didn’t realise you were an editor!)
        And yes, that creature is the leader. They’re not dragons though… πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

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