I’m a little teapot SHORT and STOUT (cake)

The first time I ever had to appear on stage at the tender age of four, this song was my offering to the world. Donned in a red cardboard ‘teapot’, dodgily hung around my neck with a bit of rope, I looked out at the audience of parents, teachers and older kids. I knew it would be a tough crowd, nobody loved giving up their afternoon to watch nursery children squawking out of key unless it was one of their own (and that was debatable!)

Prodded along by my teacher, I dutifully performed the actions, stomping around as the dumpy little vessel, trying to get the words out as quickly as possible. Of course, it’s me so it should be no surprise that when I was almost finished, tipping myself up for the final line, I promptly toppled to one side, fell in a heap and ran off-stage crying. Sigh…at least it got a laugh!

This isn’t me by the way, even though I was mistaken for a boy as a baby…

So that’s the story of inspiration for today’s Monday Munchie’s title (and my 50th post!), but what about the recipe? Well, as we’ve just returned from Ireland, I thought it would be nice to try and link in something authentic, so I opted to try a good old stout cake (recipe found on My Bacon-wrapped Life). I’ve never baked with beer before, but S has been dropping hints for a while. You see, he’s well into his craft beer, ever since I bought him a brewing kit just over a year ago, refusing to drink such ‘abominations’ as Carlsberg or Becks these days! And because of this, Ireland was slightly problematic because (shock, horror!), he doesn’t rate Guinness.

Stouts and porters are one of his preferred styles however, even if they all just taste like an espresso to me! My preferred beer group (if I can call it that, I’d rather have a cup of tea), is the incredibly niche sours – lovely concoctions that have been left out to ferment with whatever gorgeously rancid bacteria cares to throw itself in for the ride! Yes, essentially I like mouldy beer. Yum!

Today’s fool-proof, short bake cake can be made with any stout, but we used a 5.9% home brew that S made – any excuse to use his upcycled Kegerator! However, if you are not too well versed with stouts outside of the larger corporate offerings, S has kindly supplied me with a list of his current 5 favourite stouts and porters. Let me know whether you have any of your own favourites (you know, Christmas is coming up and everyone knows men are hard to buy for!) and if you have any other great beer recipes too. Links will take you to each brewery’s home page, so go see what else they have on offer. 🙂

5 Great Stouts and Porters

Dark Alchemy by Atom Beers (4.9%)
This is a fairly local brewery to us but they distribute around the world, with their market growing all the time. All the beer names have a science feel (I like Schrodinger’s Cat!) – one half of the partnership has science teacher roots after all! Described as having no hops, just cardamom and coriander.

Cocoa Psycho by Brewdog (10%)
I’m not even going to attempt describing this in the crazy manner of Brewdog. I’ll just say it has infusions of vanilla and toasted oak chips, plus the Brewdog boys…

 …recommend drinking it from a stemmed beer glass before taking a sledgehammer to a Faberge egg (??)

D.O.R.I.S. the Destroyer Double Imperial Stout by Hoppin’ Frog Brewery (10.5%)
This dark, hoppy double oatmeal Russian Imperial stout sounds pretty intense! Drink if you dare…

Imperial Stout by Founders Brewing Co. (10.5%)
Described as a smooth and silky, winter warmer stout, it’s brewed with ten varieties of malted barley.

Kentucky Breakfast Stout (KBS) by Founders Brewing Co. (11.2%)
The strongest of the selection, the second from this brewery is a chocolate coffee stout that has been ‘cave-aged’ in bourbon barrels and will apparently make you squeal with delight!

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The cake itself is egg-free and can easily be made dairy free by replacing the small amount of butter with a non-dairy alternative. It’s really moist, despite being quite crumbly when you cut it. The outer crust has a good crunch and it has a very rich, deep chocolatey flavour. Plus, it really is a ‘bung it all in, stir and bake’ kind of cake – ready to eat within the hour!

Enjoy! 🙂 x

The SHORT and STOUT cake

WHAT YOU’LL NEED:

• 2 Cups plain flour.
• 1 Cup caster sugar.
• 2/3 Cup cocoa powder.
• 2/3 Cup chocolate chunks.
• 1 Tbsp baking powder.
• 1 Tbsp cornflour.
• 1/2 tsp salt.
• 2 Tbsp vegetable oil.
• 4 Tbsp butter (melted).
• 10 fl.oz of stout.

METHOD:
Pre-heat oven to Gas Mark 4. Grease and line a loaf tin. Mix all the dry ingredients together in a bowl, then add the stout, oil and 2 Tbsp of melted butter. Mix well (it will remain lumpy) then transfer to loaf tin. Pour remaining butter over the top, finally cooking in the centre of the oven for 40 mins (or until a spike comes out clean). Allow to cool, cut, eat, repeat!

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Don’t forget you can still send me recipe links for the next Monday Munchie’s Tea Party (21st September) to aloadabobbins@gmail.com – hope to see as big a crowd as at the first one!

Image Credits: YouTube and my own 🙂

Beer descriptions paraphrased from brewery descriptions on UNTAPPED.