Weird, quirky, random, odd – all these have been used to describe me at one time or another. And I’d completely agree with each one, actually taking them as a positive. Who want’s to be mundanely normal?!
But even I realise there are things I do (or can’t do) that most people would find a little strange. Some began as fads that stuck, others are just completely irrational or prove that lack of focus affects basic life skills. So here’s a my list of 10 bizarre notions, life fails and other rituals of weird…
- I remove the ends from bananas in case there are spider eggs in them.
I once heard this to be true and it became a fad to snap them off. Nobody wants spiderlings growing inside them! I no longer believe it but you can never be too sure…
- I am afraid of wrists.
Yes, wrists. That part of you that attaches your arm to your hand. Utterly terrifying! I can’t look at them or touch them on anyone else and only with a huge amount of will power can I sneak a look at my own. Plus, who knows if a random axe may come swinging out of the ether and take a slice at them?
- And also belly buttons…
They are a hole to your innards! That can be poked and prodded for amusement, whilst all the while threatening to rip your guts right out! The mere thought of a finger going in it finds me doubled up in some protective position, squirming and retching. If you venture near my belly button, I will not be responsible for my actions.
- I frequently sit up in bed at night and shout ‘Go AWAY!‘
I believe in ghosts, I think we have one and I don’t like them watching me sleep. Politeness doesn’t seem to work. Directness is the way forward!
- Some basic tasks baffle me…
Such as being able to open a can (my excuse being that I don’t like fizzy drinks so I never had a need to learn), twizzling spaghetti (still have to have it chopped up like I’m four) and peeling oranges. Pithy.
- Oh, and I can’t really blow my nose.
Holding my nose for more than a second sends me into a snorting panic – I completely forget that I can still breathe if my mouth isn’t covered. So blowing it totally confuses my brain.
- Or drink shots…
…without a straw. Even if I try to knock it back in one, I generally only end up consuming half a pipette’s worth. So I need a straw to suck it up. It looks completely ridiculous.
- My teeth are responsible drinkers.
If I can’t feel my teeth, then I consider myself very drunk and it’s time to stop. But then I ponder whether I can ever feel my teeth. I mean, I know I can if I gnash them together or run my tongue over them, but don’t they generally just…exist? Their tangibility deceives me.
- I can predict the weather with my head.
I actually think there’s some scientific proof in this to do with changes in atmospheric pressure. But essentially, I can feel and smell a thunder storm coming – the worse the headache and stronger the smell, the worse the storm. All the women in my family are the same. If it was the Middles Ages, they’d probably stick us on a stake and burn us…
- I’m just like Jon Snow.
Despite thinking I’m fairly intelligent (you skipped 1-9 right?), it took an 8 year old to explain what A.K.A stood for (OK I knew it meant a ‘another name for…’ just not what the actual acronym meant) and I only recently found out it it’s Abercrombie and Fitch. Not Stitch. (Which is kind of logical because it’s clothing line. No? OK then…)
And there we have it. Or at least ten aspects of my weird – there are plenty more and probably some I don’t even know about! But I love other people’s quirks and idiosyncrasies too – who wouldn’t with a mother who strokes bumblebees and a friend who’s afraid of seahorses?!
So if you’d like to display any of your quirks to the world (and make me feel better!), I’d love to hear from you. Let’s embrace the strange and share the random. It makes for a much more interesting planet!